One of my clients once described how she felt she had become lost in the clamour of life.
The description really struck me.
I think it describes so well a place that has become so easy to get to these days. A place where I once was too.
A place where you, as you, have ceased to exist and instead you simply exist as one of the many roles you play or the things you do for others.
A parent, a friend, an employee, a manager.
Perhaps a brother or sister too. A son or daughter. A carer. A volunteer. Perhaps even a lifeline for someone.
There are so many roles it is possible to play in life, and I have no doubt you are doing incredible things in many of them.
But when your life becomes so full of fulfilling roles and responsibilities, it can become hard to decipher where the ‘role’ ends and you, just as you, begin.
Take being a business owner, for example.
Within that one role alone, there are multiple different roles and functions you need to attend to, juggling each of them to the best of your ability.
But then there is the rest of your life too.
Looking after your family. Cleaning, tidying, running errands and ferrying people around. You might even at some point get to do something fun together too!
And your friends. You want to be there for them if they need you and so whenever anyone is struggling you make sure you’re checking in on them regularly, offering to help if they need it.
Perhaps you have other responsibilities away from work too. Caring or helping out in some other way.
You might have started focusing more on your own health as well. Maybe you’re trying to increase the amount of exercise you are doing, or you’re determined to start cooking more fresh and healthy meals. Whilst it’s such a positive step, it takes up another chunk of your time, energy and headspace.
Then there are your hobbies and interests too. You have lots of things you are interested in and love to do. But somehow, despite having a life full of people and things you love, you start to get lost in it all.
You end up rushing around from one thing to another, trying to do your best in all of them, to the extent that you become exhausted.
You spend so much time focusing on everything you need to get done. But beyond that, and beyond the exhaustion, is you.
Lost in the clamour of it all.
Another of my clients had been struggling with the same thing when we started working together.
Sally is a Mum of 3 teenagers.
She actually first came to me because she felt out of control of her weight and eating habits.
However, it wasn’t long before we’d both realised there was more to it than that.
She’d left her previous job, despite being passionate about what she did, because she had burnt out trying to do it all and had stopped looking after herself.
She had taken the leap into self-employment, joining her husband in business, but despite being an organised, driven and very capable professional in her previous role, she described often feeling like she was “freewheeling” in the business.
It came to light that between juggling all the demands that came with being a parent and taking on a whole new range of roles and responsibilities in the business, she now felt like she’d lost some of her identity.
She was still trying her best to do things to look after her own health and wellbeing but at times she just felt like everything was so chaotic and relentless that she couldn’t think straight, let alone take time for herself.
By the end of her 12 sessions with me, she felt back in control and able to keep on top of the day to day tasks.
However, that wasn’t the real win for Sally. She had had some massive internal shifts too.
She now felt really clear on who she was and what was important to her.
She was able to prioritise herself in amongst all the roles and responsibilities, and the clarity she had made her decision-making and choosing how to use her time to best effect so much easier.
She no longer had that same sense of freewheeling, feeling overwhelmed or firefighting she’d had at the beginning. She had achieved her goal of being back in the drivers’ seat of her own life.
Feeling lost in the clamour of life, particularly in this fast-paced world we are in, is becoming ever more common.
But it doesn’t mean you have to accept it.
You deserve to be a priority in amongst all your roles and responsibilities, and in making yourself one, you actually make your ability to handle it all SO much easier.
But making yourself a priority often isn’t easy. Especially when you are someone that loves to help other people. The guilt takes over, you don’t want to let someone down, or it’s just easier to say “Yes”.
That’s why I work with my clients to shift the things that stop them from being able to take time for themselves because they have been putting everyone and everything else first.
They don’t suddenly become selfish and stop caring about everyone else though. They are still the same person with a passion for helping others. Just without all the emotional baggage and limiting beliefs that leave them overscheduling because they are worried about what people think about them if they say “No”. Or because they are trying to prove themselves by being able to do it all single-handedly.
If this sounds like you, we really should chat!
Why not book a complimentary 30 minute consultation with me? Simply click here to book a time to suit you. If you need an alternative time, just drop me a message at jo@wattcaoching.co.uk and I’m sure we can work something out to suit us both.
Or, if you want to find out more about how I work with my clients to achieve these results, this page on my website will give you some more information but please feel free to get in touch and ask me any questions that you have.
